I’ve always been a stressed out person, what I didn’t know is that I was more stressed and anxious than the healthy amount.
This past month I’ve been having a tight chest and the feeling of not being able to catch my breath. I waited a while to see if it would go away but it didn’t. I went to community care late one night and the Dr checked my breathing, listened to my lungs and decided nothing life threatening was wrong.
It wasn’t asthma, pneumonia, bronchitis or anything in that category, so that was good right?
Not really. Not at all actually.
The Dr. suggested it might be anxiety. There’s no way I thought as I looked at Ren who was sitting in the room with me. I was anxious and stressed but didn’t think it was that bad. After coming to the conclusion that it could be that he gave me a prescription to take at night to help me control my breathing and to fall asleep easier.
It was anxiety, I have anxiety.
a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome.“he felt a surge of anxiety”
synonyms: worry, concern, apprehension, apprehensiveness, uneasiness, unease, fearfulness, fear,disquiet, disquietude, inquietude, perturbation, agitation, angst, misgiving, nervousness,nerves, tension, tenseness; More
PSYCHIATRYa nervous disorder characterized by a state of excessive uneasiness and apprehension, typically with compulsive behavior or panic attacks.
The medicine sure did knock me out. The medication worked the first night but during the day the next day the chest discomfort was back and I couldn’t take the medication the Dr. had given me because it would make me drowsy and I couldn’t be having that at work. So this left me with another problem and another Drs appointment I’d have to make.
A couple days later I made a Drs appointment at the Student Health Center on campus. There I saw a new Dr. and she told me it was anxiety with all the symptoms I was experiencing, plus more than I hadn’t even realized.
“Yuck. What’s wrong with me? Why is this happening? I don’t want to be dependent on medication! Why was this happening now? How do i stop this? What’s causing this? Why me? I don’t want this.”
All the thoughts going through my head.
As the month went on I realized nothing is wrong with me, that I will be okay. That this is common and needs to be dealt with. That I wouldn’t always have to be dependent on medication and there was no real reason this was happening and no way of stopping it, I had to learn to live with it.
I started taking daily medication which helped me control my anxiety (including my fast acting emergency one). It worked for a couple weeks then stopped again. I went to my Dr. at the SHC (student health center) and she prescribed me a higher dose.
I never picked it up. I had made a new decision.
I decided to get off my medication and try other alternatives. I’ve been off them for 5 days now, it’s been hard but I’m managing. I’ve started up yoga to control my breathing and calm myself down. Another thing that’s been a big help to me is scripture study and prayer. It calms me, makes me happy, comforted and relieved.
Meditation, yoga, exercise, Herbal Tea, ambient or other calming music, essential oils, taking a bath, breathing exercises and more are all ways to help deal with it. You just have to find the one right for you.
Before learning I had anxiety I didn’t take mental illnesses as seriously. I now know that they are real. They can affect anyone. It is hard but you can handle it. You can overcome this, your mental illness does NOT define who you are. It will all be okay, you will be okay, you will be happy, you will learn to control YOUR body. Medication or not you will find a way that will help YOU.
With Him by your side. You are never alone.